The First Time
by MarigoldMusings
Summary: My take on #Tuckson and Collateral Damages. Oneshot


_Remember when…we were all freaked about about THE SHOULDER? Collateral damages was such a powerful and heartbreaking episode, but it also confirmed #Tuckson (at least for me, I guess it could be argued that their relationship wasn't really canon until Manhattan Transfer, anywho, Tucker had me at "wherever you want to go, you tell me"). IDK about y'all, but I was bouncing up and down on the couch excited that Mama Bear Benson was apparently about to get her some. I always intended to write a oneshot based on the ep, so here it is. Dedicated especially to_ _ **Breelovesvu**_ _who specifically requested it via Twitter._

 _Dialogue from the show is obviously not mine. At the end of the story there will be a quiz to see who can accurately match my dozens of_ **When #Tuckson Started Doing It** _theories to the fic in which they appeared._

…

Tucker and Benson stood in the freezing cold outside of the Abraham apartment on Fifth Avenue. Rollins and Carisi were en route to the precinct with the Deputy Commissioner, Olivia sent Fin home, and uniformed officers escorted Pippa and the kids to a hotel. CSU had just wrapped up their work and agents filed out with boxes and evidence bags; their van and one squad car were all that remained of police presence.

"You wanna get coffee?" Tucker asked.

"I do, but I really need to be there when Abraham's lawyer arrives."

"Right," he muttered, reluctantly agreeing with her, "I think I parked behind you, down a block on the corner?"

"That's me."

They walked briskly, hands shoved in pockets, to the identical unmarked vehicles. Olivia took out her keys and opened the door.

"So, I'll, uh, lean on computer crimes for the flash drives. Shouldn't take long to process."

"Ok."

Ed dawdled. He'd just recently started kissing her on a regular basis, but this was hardly a date. Still, he didn't want to leave her without doing something, and she, too, seemed to be debating exactly how to say goodbye even though they would see one another again in an hour or two. They were on the job and the risk of being seen was too high. Ed split the difference and grabbed her elbow.

"I'll see you in a bit."

"We'll wait for you before we talk to him."

Ed took a deep breath, "Hopefully you can get some sleep at some point."

"Probably not."

…

Ed arrived at SVU later that morning and found Barba in Benson's office. Rafael gave him an odd look when he set a large coffee down in front of Olivia, but there were obviously more pressing issues to worry about at the moment. Hank Abraham was seated in the interrogation room with Roger Kressler. Olivia and Tucker rattled off the evidence that had been collected from the apartment and from his computer. Barba questioned whether or not it was possible that someone else—a maid, babysitter, anyone—could have possibly been using Abraham's home office for nefarious purposes unbeknownst to him, but the fingerprint and password evidence suggested otherwise.

Hank Abraham was guilty.

Again, Barba noticed Benson and Tucker moving within close proximity to one another, but he had to proceed with the interrogation. When he started opening the door, neither Ed nor Olivia followed.

"One of you wanna join me, or am I on my own?"

They looked at one another blankly, their faces inches apart. Tucker lightly patted Olivia's upper arm and said, "I'll go."

 _What the hell_?

Barba quickly refocused. Twenty minutes later, he and Ed left Abraham and Kressler alone to bat around the few options Hank had. In denial and not willing to negotiate a plea deal, Abraham forced Barba to prepare for arraignment.

Olivia informed a horrified Pippa. "Probably this afternoon," she called after her as she ushered her children towards the elevators. As soon as they were out of sight, officers escorted Abraham to booking.

Tucker lingered in Benson's office behind closed doors. "I have to meet with the commissioner in an hour," he said, looking down at his phone. "How's his wife doing?"

Olivia sighed, "Not good. Probably in shock."

"Did you know they were married?"

"I did, but, like Pippa said, they kept their personal and private lives separate, and did a good job with that."

Olivia and Ed stared at each other, letting the personal-private distinction sink in and mentally sort out how that applied, or would apply, to their burgeoning romance. So far, nothing had happened, at least, nothing requiring disclosure; however, in the past two weeks, things changed.

"Thanks for bringing the coffee," Olivia said to break the awkward silence.

"Figured you'd need it."

"This'll be a long day."

Ed looked down at his shoes, "Maybe, uh, early dinner after court?"

"Sure," Olivia met his hopeful blue eyes, "Maybe that new Greek place I told you about?"

Ed wasn't crazy about Greek food, but, as long as they were together he'd tolerate anything. "Whatever you want."

"So, I'll call you later?"

"Ok." He turned to leave.

"Hey, Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"Even under these circumstances…I liked working with you today."

He grinned, _actually grinned_ , at her, "It was nice to be on the same side."

"It was."

"I'll, uh, I guess I better get downtown." He winked at her, "Hang in there today, Lieutenant."

"You too, _Captain_."

….

Olivia's shoulder was still damp from Pippa's tears when she found Ed at the restaurant's bar. To his surprise, she greeted him with a hug _and_ a kiss on the cheek; since almost every prior kiss or touch had been initiated by him, this was immensely encouraging. She even took an extra second to pull away. He could still feel her soft lips on his skin even as she retreated to her own space.

"How'd it go?"

"Low bail. He's probably out by now."

"You think he'll actually go to trial?"

Olivia let out a long breath, "Barba already offered him a quiet way out. We'll see. Poor Pippa, she's still at the hotel. She's sending her kids to their grandparents', after the arraignment she completely broke down…I think she's finally starting to realize what he's done."

"Hopefully his lawyer and Barba can talk some sense into him. He can't fight this and win…even with Roger Kressler defending him."

"Maybe if he sees Pippa, and they talk…" She trailed off, not really knowing what to think.

"I feel bad for her," Ed said, "How many years have they been married?"

"Jordan's eleven, so at least that long."

Silence descended upon them. Ed couldn't understand how Pippa could have missed such a dark side to Hank's personality; he suspected Olivia had an explanation, but she had a long day and he didn't want to be another thing she had to handle.

" _So_ ," he drawled, "I keep thinkin' about what you said today. About personal and private lives being separate."

"What about it?"

Ed took a drink of his beer and tried to steady his nerves. He and Olivia had had some heavy conversations, but just last week she finally opened the floodgates and told him everything—Lewis, Sealview, all of it. She obviously trusted him and felt he _needed_ to know. Taking the full disclosure as a signal their relationship had taken a turn towards the serious, he now fretted about fucking it up.

"I would…hate to have to do that."

"I don't—"

Ed put a hand on hers, "I didn't mean us right now. I meant, for them, like, they don't have pictures in their offices or anything? I just don't think a complete break like that is possible."

"Or healthy," Olivia added.

 _Oh good, she agreed._

She changed the subject, "Beer for you tonight? Taking it easy?"

"Bourbon selection's not so good. And I felt like having a beer anyway. I'm not _that_ particular, Lieutenant."

"Neither am I."

Ed broached the next nerve-wracking subject on his mind. "Uh, Sunday, Valentine's Day…are you free?"

"I am," she answered with a smile.

"Dinner?"

Olivia banked on Lucy being available, "I'd like that."

Ed let Olivia do the ordering, and they shared an appetizer and an entrée. They weren't exactly eating from the same plate, but Ed loved that they were _sharing_ ; there was something intimate in it and he was craving anything that brought the two of them closer. Knowing she had to get home to Noah, he didn't press her to stay longer or go for a nightcap. By now, he was used to going with the flow and careful not to make waves. This new romance was too fragile for that. He followed her lead.

Darkness had fallen when they arrived at her building. They had both been suppressing yawns towards the end of their dinner, and Ed was actually not all that disappointed she didn't invite him up. He was exhausted.

"Have a good Saturday," he said in a voice just above a whisper.

"You too. I'll be working."

"Well, try to get some sleep."

"I don't think that will be a problem."

The blistering February wind whipped against them, and Olivia looked longingly at the door. Ed needed to kiss her; he'd wanted to kiss her since three o'clock that morning.

He leaned in and she met him halfway. He felt her arms close around his waist. Instead of beginning tentatively, Olivia pressed her lips hard against his. She opened her mouth a little, and he accepted the invitation; she moaned ever so slightly as he swirled his tongue around hers. Every kiss they shared seemed to top the previous one, and he told her so after they broke apart, just before he said goodbye.

"Yeah," Olivia mused, "Good point. Just, ah, let's save something for Valentine's Day, huh?"

Ed Tucker could not remember feeling giddy, at least not in the past twenty years. But he suddenly felt like a teenage boy who just got asked to prom by the prettiest girl in school.

 _She was flirting with him_.

Gradually, those formidable walls she'd been constructing for her entire life were coming down. Tucker had been dismantling them piece by piece for a year.

"Goodnight, Olivia."

"Goodnight Ed. I didn't think I could possibly have a good time tonight, but I did. Thank you."

"Anytime." He almost added _Liv_ after the reply, but he was too chicken to do it. Instead, he gave her another quick kiss, and promised her an update on Valentine's Day within twenty-four hours.

…

Ed's perfect Valentine's Day plans were thwarted by Hank Abraham. Facing inevitable prison time and denied any type of immunity for further testimony, the disgraced public official attempted to take his own life. After Pippa saved him and he was coherent, Hank came to his senses and agreed to plead guilty in exchange for a relatively light sentence. Four years in protective custody and twenty on the registry was much better than what the feds would do to him. Barba arranged for a rare Sunday court appearance in order to keep the press and the public from descending upon the proceedings the way they'd done at arraignment.

Outside the courthouse, Pippa departed in a cab and Olivia, Carisi, and Tucker waited for Barba. The ADA walked sluggishly down the steps and joined them.

"Cue the articles excoriating the DA's office for a slap on the wrist," Barba muttered.

"In exchange for ongoing _cooperation_ ," Carisi pointed out.

"The press and the public don't usually hear that part," he snapped.

"Give it time," Olivia counseled, "People have short memories."

"Yeah," Tucker sniffed, "Someone else'll screw up real soon and they'll forget all about Abraham."

"Terrific," Barba muttered.

Carisi tried to lighten the mood, "Hey, how 'bout we all go get something to eat? It's been a long couple days, let's just go hang out and relax. Have a drink. Talk about other things."

Ed's eyes darted from Carisi to Olivia and then back to Carisi. There was no way out of this without arousing suspicion.

"Liv?" Barba asked, "You up for dinner?"

"Sure," Olivia agreed, trying to mask her reluctance, "Tucker, you want to join us?"

He smirked at her; neither Carisi nor Barba noticed the combination of amusement and disappointment in their eyes. "Yeah, thanks. Where to?"

"You want Italian?" Carisi asked, "We can go to this great little place just off Mulberry Street, or…"

Carisi rambled on and on about his favorite restaurants and the other three fell in line behind him. Once again, with Olivia by his side, Ed could care less about their destination.

…..

"Still up for that nightcap?" Their Valentine's Day group dinner date lasted longer than predicted, and Ed hoped he could squeeze in some alone time before Olivia had to relieve the babysitter. The conversation with Barba and Carisi was pleasant, and they managed to avoid police talk, but it was far from the romantic meal Ed longed to share with her.

"Yeah. I could really use a drink."

Ed supposed she meant something stronger than the bottle of house red they'd shared. He guided her into their usual spot, his hand on her lower back, when she suddenly paused.

"You know what? Not here."

"Wherever you wanna go. You tell me."

"Ok."

They took a few more steps and Ed felt Olivia link her arm with his. He bit the inside of his mouth as he tried not to verbally react to the gesture. It felt good, her allowing a bit of her weight to rest upon him. He felt her look at him periodically as they strolled, but he played it cool and stared straight ahead, the cold air causing his eyes to water. She led him to a liquor store and purchased a bottle of the bourbon Ed usually ordered. Seeing the curiosity on his face as she paid, she said, "Places are too crowded this time of night. Let's go to my place."

It was Sunday and places were not crowded but Ed didn't question her shaky evidence or her conclusion. She was taking the lead and he liked it. And he was fine with a nightcap at her place.

He'd been to her apartment many times before, but not like this. It was usually just him coming and going or waiting while she finished getting ready. He'd spent a few Saturday afternoons there, too, but Noah had been awake and he sensed those dates were more for her to get an idea about how he got along with her son rather than having anything to do with intimacy between the two of them.

She instructed him to have a seat.

"To Valentine's Day," she said, clinking glasses with him.

"Cheers." He took a sip and remembered the small box in his pocket. "We got kinda sidetracked with dinner tonight," he said, "I almost forgot about this."

Olivia's jaw dropped. She hadn't anticipated gift-giving.

"Open it."

Inside were a pair of robin's-egg-blue earrings. "Ed, they're beautiful," she gushed.

"You like them?"

"I love them."

He took another sip, gathering the courage to explain the purchase. "I saw them a couple days…a couple days after, uh, the townhouse. They looked so bright…and happy. I was gonna give them to you then, but I decided to save them for now."

"Thank you." She leaned over and kissed him. Instead of returning to her half of the couch, she stayed a few millimeters from his face. "Maybe…tonight…I can make up for making your life miserable?"

He smiled shyly, "I didn't mean—"

"I'm teasing you."

"I was teasing _you_. Actually, no I wasn't," he reached to put his glass on the coffee table so he had both hands free. "I feel miserable when you're not happy. I care about you Olivia. A lot. I hope you know that."

"I do. And I care about you, Ed. And I…I want to thank you…I can be, well, a bit of a mess sometimes, and you've stuck by me. Been there for me. Listened to me. Thank you for being such a good man."

She kissed him again and the passion surged from her body to his and back again. Anticipation swelled in the space they both occupied. She placed her glass next to his, shifted closer, and kissed him again. Her hands massaged his shoulders and she moved from his lips to his neck, throat, and then back up to his earlobe which she gently bit, sending pangs of arousal shooting through his midsection. He took a deep breath.

Olivia felt his body respond and pulled away. She noticed that his eyelids drooped a little and thought it was sexy how they hung over his icy blue eyes as they burned with desire. She'd never seen that look before, but she knew she wanted to see it over and over again.

He remained mostly still.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin.' It's just—"

"Don't be nervous." She kissed him again, opening her mouth wider this time. He was still hesitant, but she brimmed with resolve. Enough flirting. Enough innuendo. Enough with stopping the goodnight kisses before things heated up too much. She was falling in love with him, and she was sure he was falling in love with her as well. No longer was she alone, broken, and incomplete. Ed knew almost everything about her, and, tonight, she was going to put one last piece of the puzzle in place.

" _Liv_."

"Make love to me, Ed."

Olivia loved hearing her nickname uttered in his deep, raspy voice. She was back at his neck now, and she hit a spot near his throat that was so sensitive he couldn't do anything other than repeat her name. She felt him tremble, but she confidently worked his shirt off and continued her exploration of his upper body, interested and impressed at seeing it stripped of clothing for the first time.

Finally, he took control and kissed her urgently. She fell against him as he took her into his arms. He gasped yet again when he felt her hips grind into his, but he managed to maintain the kiss even as she hissed, "I want you" into his mouth.

Olivia felt his trapped arousal growing harder and harder and reached down to drag her fingers along the outside of his pants.

"Let's go to the bedroom," she whispered.

"Are you sure, Liv?"

 _The nickname again_.

"Yes." She took his hand.

The covers were folded back and he wondered if she'd done that on purpose, knowing how the night would end when she left the apartment earlier that day. She threw off her shirt and jeans, and he expertly unclasped her bra, taking just a few seconds to admire her in the dim lighting, outlining her curves with an index finger, and telling her he had never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life.

His nervousness dissipated. They took turns taking the lead, kissing, sucking, biting, until there wasn't an unexplored inch left on their bodies. They discovered one another's most erogenous areas, moaned and whimpered, muffled their cries with pillows or, in Olivia's case, Ed's shoulder. She loved how cocky he got when he made her convulse, and as he thrust more deeply and with increasing force, he couldn't help but be proud of himself when he felt her spasm beneath him and then, as she released herself into the orgasm and felt him erupt inside her, her dizzy, dazed, almost stunned smile turned him on all over again.

Afterwards, they lay spooned together, slick and sticky, hair damp and matted, makeup smeared, a little soreness forming, areas that had been bitten or scratched perhaps a little too aggressively in the throes of passion turned red, and Ed desperately wanted to say the right thing. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but tonight was a big enough step. One thing at a time. As they made love he must have told her she was beautiful or gorgeous fifty times. What else was there to say?

There was one question mark remaining, and she read his mind, rescuing him from the silence he felt obligated to break.

"Mmmmm," she hummed, "That was amazing. Unbelievable."

"Yeah it was," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"You're staying, right?"

"I hope so. If that's what you want."

"That's what I want."

"But, what about Noah?"

Olivia craned her neck to look him in the eyes, "This won't be the only time you wake up with me here in the morning, right?"

Ed was sure he was dreaming. After all this time, all those drinks and dates, all the wondering if and when _it_ was going to happen—it was over, and she had the same idea, the same end game.

Permanence.

So, he gambled a bit.

"I'll be here forever if you want."

She nestled back into him and kissed the top of his hand.

"That sounds perfect."

…..

 _ **J/K about the quiz… #Tuckson IDK when it started but I love that it happened!**_

 _ **Oh, the earrings described are worn by Olivia in Star Struck Victims…I had never seen her wearing them before.**_


End file.
